Double Vision

A few weeks ago it came to our attention that LL would be needing glasses..I really didn't think she would, since she is perfect and everything, but the eye doctor confirmed it last week..Not gonna lie, I started crying when Ted told me the news. See, had I known, I would have been the one at the doctor's office with her, being the control freak I am. But I sent Ted, cause I figured it was going to be a quick appointment..Ted also had the good sense to call and ask if I wanted to be the one to help her pick out her frames, he is finally getting me..I declined, knowing very well that Ted would not want his daughter to look like a fool, so he could handle it, and besides, I was crying. Seems kind of silly to get upset over something like that, I know. Millions of children come down with incurable diseases, have to live with forms of autism, and many other much more difficult issues, and here I am, a hot mess..It didn't take long for me to figure out why I was really crying. I was able to Freud myself a little bit and realize what was so upsetting..See, Lindsey is pumped about these glasses, she thinks they are cute, kids will be jealous at first, and it will only draw more attention to her beautiful blue eyes. I know I wanted glasses badly..in Second grade my eye doctor said my vision was borderline and I didn't really need them. But oh no, I wanted those bad boys..and I wanted the super cool case that held those ugly blue frames. This is also the same girl that was jealous of those who wore retainers and would fashion her own, using chewed bubble gum and unbent paper clips..wow, typing that makes me feel even more cool, amazing. So back to sad sad me..My heart began to ache because I felt like glasses were just going to be the beginning for her/me...soon would come the awkward years of possible bad skin, pudginess, maybe being a tom boy, although hard to conceive that thought now, and all the other unfortunate traits she might inherit from awesome me... I just didn't want her to ever feel any twang of pain...ever. This was a reminder that a lot of those things are out of my control as a parent. All I can do is give her the tools to deal with the pain when it comes her way. So that it is my focus now..no sadness for imperfection, but reinforcing the positive. As she was getting dressed for her Parent Night at school this evening, she said to me, "Mom, everyone will think I am so beautiful because of this dress." Normally I would nod and agree, but tonight I looked into those sweet baby blues and made sure she listened to me and said, "You were so beautiful before you even put on that dress sweet girl."