Halloween is awesome..I love it, really I do. I more so love the days leading up to it, but as for right now, at this stage in my life, it is a little ridiculous. I don't enjoy passing out candy to other children and I also don't like taking my kids to more than one house to get candy, it bores me a little. I know I sound like a lot of fun, I'm working in it...the following are examples as to why I sucked at Halloween again this year..
1) When children show up to my door, ranging in age from 14-16, I get a little annoyed..."Um, what are you supposed to be dressed up as?"...kids look at me, shrug their shoulders and say, "Yeah, I don't really know hehe." Zip your lip Sarah, do you want your babies' house to get egged?? apprently so.."Wow, that's pretty dumb, maybe you shouldn't be out trick or treating with little kids then, maybe you're past that stage."...really, let it go and give them the crappy candy you don't want to snarf down and move on....so I did, eventually..
2) Mommy wanted to look cute on Halloween for no good reason. So I wore jeggings, even typing that word "jeggings" makes me feel stupid, and boots up to my knees, with a large heel on them. Oh I had a sweater on too, Good Lord, wouldn't want to really scare the kids away going topless, yikes...Well, Ted, actually got tired of taking the kids around the neighborhood trolling for candy, so he asked/forced me to take them out for a run. grrr...not interested in navigating down the street by myself, but I told myself to stop being so chubby and crabby and take the kids for a few more houses...The hooker boots were a bad choice for that, mumbling cuss words under my breath while waddling down the block is not cute, I apologize neighbor peeps. So a few blocks away from home, Coco hands me something, which I thought was candy she had tried eating from her bucket..oh to be that lucky...please Lord, make it be an unwrapped tootsie roll!! No such luck for me...It was a large piece of wet, nasty, dog poop Coco wanted to pass on to me..awesome! So I hobbled/ran/tripped, in my jegging/hooker boot ensemble back to my house, with Coco on my hip and Lindsey being dragged behind..It was one of those precious moments I will scrap book about later, if I ever decide to upload and print any of the pictures I have taken of my children..
Next year I hope to not be such a witch..
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Church Lady
I recently started a new job, which is cool..However, I never really know how to act in front of new people. Like most people, I tend to act differently in my professional like than in my social life. Although, I'm pretty sure the majority of my nursing co-workers would say I am a straight up nut job all around, but I guess it's only after you get to know me..Back to the new job situation, so I have been on my most "professional" behavior possible, and it makes me die a little bit on the inside every day..yeah, ok, that's an exaggeration, however, it is truly uncomfortable to keep about 80% of my self proclaimed witty thoughts, to myself.
After a week of having ridiculous thoughts bottled up in my head, I tend to slip and forget to put my filter on in, what should be, more conservative situations..example: When sitting with a small group of parents during the Sunday School hour, there are things I should NOT say. Let me preface this by explaining I do NOT do drugs, for real...
other parent at table: "Wow, "Rhonda", is such a great teacher to the kids at Sunday school!"
me: "I know, she is so awesome. She has so much energy." (In my head I kept saying, ok, stop there, that is appropriate, but no, I must defy myself.)..."I almost want to bottle up whatever she is taking and drink it, or smoke it!"
Awkward silence.....prolonged silence.....In which I go grab more animal crackers from the snack table..
Great, so now I am the crack head mom at Church. Sweet...Seriously, I need to be monitored at all times and electrically shocked when stupid things enter my brain...oh well, at least I haven't ruined myself at the new job yet, give it a few days though..I will be sure to alienate and offend just about everyone..look forward to that :-)
After a week of having ridiculous thoughts bottled up in my head, I tend to slip and forget to put my filter on in, what should be, more conservative situations..example: When sitting with a small group of parents during the Sunday School hour, there are things I should NOT say. Let me preface this by explaining I do NOT do drugs, for real...
other parent at table: "Wow, "Rhonda", is such a great teacher to the kids at Sunday school!"
me: "I know, she is so awesome. She has so much energy." (In my head I kept saying, ok, stop there, that is appropriate, but no, I must defy myself.)..."I almost want to bottle up whatever she is taking and drink it, or smoke it!"
Awkward silence.....prolonged silence.....In which I go grab more animal crackers from the snack table..
Great, so now I am the crack head mom at Church. Sweet...Seriously, I need to be monitored at all times and electrically shocked when stupid things enter my brain...oh well, at least I haven't ruined myself at the new job yet, give it a few days though..I will be sure to alienate and offend just about everyone..look forward to that :-)
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