The time I almost beat up my patient's husband

Sorry, this one is graphic, crap, my whole life is kinda graphic, get over it....

I often deal with many a baby daddy throughout my work day. I bite my tongue 90% of the time I hear an ignorant comment or some ridiculous statement made toward the pregnant significant other or new mom, and the other 10% of the time I usually say something. When I do say something, I can be pretty mature about it, and phrase it in a way that the father doesn't know I am making him look like an ass. Sometimes, however, I just kinda speak my mind...

This particular patient, was a sweet lady...She rolled up to the floor with the new baby in her arms, smiling, but I could tell she was in pain. After giving my typical speech about how the call light works and what to expect during her stay, I assessed her pain. "What would you rate your pain on a scale of 1 to 10?" I asked. She was hesitant, looked at her husband, and said, "Maybe a 6 or so?" "Wow, OK, let me get you some pain medicine, I want you to be as comfortable as you can, " I assured her. As I was about to walk out the door, her husband interjects, "Babe, there is no way your pain could be a 6, I mean when you were pushing downstairs you were rating it a 3, so come on."

Hmm..self control, it's a virtue. I work on it every day. At that point in my life I had yet to birth a child, but I still new enough as a nurse to think, um, no he didn't just say that!? So I turned to the new father and asked, "Do you know what a 3rd degree tear is?" The man was slightly taken aback..."Uh, no, why?" he questioned. "Well, sir, let me draw you a little picture." A side note, I cannot draw for the life of me, luckily that was not necessary for that particular diagram. So I grabbed a marker and drew on the white board..."See this is would be your wife's vaginal opening, and this would be her anus. The tear from the baby coming out at warp speed caused her to tear 3 out of 4 degrees..pointing to the estimated spot where the tear ended. So, if your wife says her pain is a 6, it's a 6 OK? I'll be right back in with her medication."

The husband didn't make eye contact with me for the rest of my shift, but I was OK with that. not that many men read my blog, but a helpful hint, DO NOT throw your 2 cents in about ANYTHING after your lady just birthed your baby, or some other guy's baby....