The first time I was ran over by a mode of transportation

Lately I have been having a lot of childhood flashbacks. I know I had a good childhood, but I tend to only remember the times where I was somehow injured...This story, I believe, is what I would like to use as the reason I am not a runner...I try usually once year to make this the year that I am gonna become an athlete of some sort, I fail every time...

Third Grade was awesome, I was in the best shape of my life, had one of the best bowl haircuts of my life, which transitioned nicely into a mullet by 4th grade. Our Third grade teacher was a cool cat, he played his guitar for us, managed our kickball teams, and just made school fun for once. Anyhow, he was also an avid runner. He started a running team at our grade school, more of a cross country team for kiddos. I was game for it. I wanted the t-shirt with the Bible verse on the back, I wanted the bad ass generic running shoes, I was all over it..

One fall day, I was running after school with the team, in my bright yellow sweat suit. My bowl cut was flopping in the wind, life was good..At some point 50 yards from our destination point, I realized my shoe laces had come undone on one of my awesome shoes..Not wanting to get in the way of the other kids, I ducked behind a tree to pull the rainbow laces back together...When out of the blue, I felt like my ass was literally being torn apart!! Oh maybe because it was!! One of the other teacher's kids was riding his bike with the herd of runners, didn't see me and ran up the length of my little buns and back with his dirt bike! Yowza!!!!!!! ouchies!!!

My teacher picked me up and ran me inside..Another teacher came to my aide to assess the damage..My beautiful yellow sweatpants had ripped up my crack, and also shredded my underwear..I was beyond mortified, and in a great deal of pain.

The thing about my parents were that they weren't always the most sympathetic to my injuries as a child, maybe because I was such a hot mess always getting hurt or running into a wall that jumped into my path. Therefore, it came to no surprise, that the evening of the "the parting of the ass crack, " I was made to go to my piano lesson!!! Really?? You're gonna make a kid, who literally, just got a dirt bike up her butt, sit and practice her scales??? Yes, yes, you are..Cause that's how you crazy German Lutherans roll...

P.S. I should note, that the kid who scarred me for life and who ended what was to be a promising running career for myself, still apologizes to me to this day whenever we meet at friend or family functions...He is a good guy, but he did get in the way of my Olympic dreams, and I do blame him for my chubby thighs..