The time I thought I could fly

When I was a child I did some super stupid stuff..This habit has continued nicely into adulthood. I was reminded of this story while I was jogging tonight. I have to mention I was jogging, only because that is pretty funny in itself. I am attempting to do the Couch to 5k program for the umpteenth time..what better reason to start that nonsense up then Ash Wednesday? I have this vision of God looking down on me, doing the sarcastic clap, you know, the one that you do when someone talks about something they did which they are seeking some type of praise for, but really they should be doing that shit anyways? The important part of the clap, is the pause in between the claps..I digress, as usual...So God is looking down at me "clapping," thinking really?? I sent my Son to die on the cross, and you running/walking fast/dry heaving on the tread mill, is the closest thing you can do to show a sacrifice? Not to say that you kids shouldn't give up sugar, coffee, facebook, or carbonation for Lent, but one does have to kind of laugh when comparing the two. And oh geez, not interested in people complaining to me about what they are giving up for Lent and why it is amazing..of course, I should be prepared for all comments, if I do get any for this one..

So jogging, right...My dad was an avid runner while we were kids. Mostly ran in the early evenings...On this particular fateful night, my mom was somewhere like Jazzercise, God bless the 80's, and my dad was on his jog...Therefore, my two older brothers were left to watch my pestering little self. While the Rents were out doing their thing, my brothers took to the help of the TV, and we started watching some awesome show like "Fraggle Rock" or something. I was bored easily, and starting screwing around with the living room furniture..

Trying to think back as to what was going on in my disproportionately large head at the time.. it must have been something along the lines of..."hmm, that rocking chair looks super bored over there just like me, maybe I should go flip that bad boy upside down." This Hulk like maneuver received no reaction from my brothers.."so now what do I do?"..."oh I should probably climb on top of the upside down rocking chair." Still no reaction from the brothers...."Now I should probably sail off of the rocking chair like an eagle." Bad move little girl, especially when your eyes lack proper depth perception. The next thing I remember was being laid out on the bathroom floor, with my brothers mummifying me with toilet paper..

Apparently my graceful descend from the rocker ended with me smashing my head onto the corner of the piano bench in the living room..Whoopsie..So my brothers probably crapped their pants and ran me into the bathroom and started wrapping my head with the toilet paper..My dad came home moments later, probably crapped his pants as well, and drove me to the ER. Oddly enough, no stitches were needed, but I'm pretty sure my brothers took the pain even harder for me over that incident. Little did they know, that would just be the beginning of learning to put me back to together after my falls.